


Seven things Guy does that Caroline does not find amusing

by ijemanja



Category: Green Wing
Genre: F/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-28
Updated: 2008-03-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 13:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1860207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijemanja/pseuds/ijemanja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1. Talks to her in the voice of a two-dimensional Friesian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seven things Guy does that Caroline does not find amusing

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for the end of the series.

1\. Talks to her in the voice of a two-dimensional Friesian.

"My heart moooooos for yooooooouuuuu."

All right, maybe she finds it slightly amusing, but only because he has a _cow_ tattooed on his chest, and because it seems a lot less scary-stalker-man now than it did a year and a half ago.

Still not in any way sweet or endearing, though. Not in the least. Especially not once she finds out he calls it 'Caroline'.

 

2\. Refuses to admit that he misses his best friend.

Well, except when he's drunk, naturally.

 

3\. Gets drunk and talks about Mac, sobbing all the while, until even she can't stand it, loses her temper, and makes him sleep on the couch.

 

4\. Writes on her in permanent ink while she's asleep.

" _Why would you do this?_ "

"So people will know who you are. Like a name tag. Very handy, no need to thank me."

"One. My name is not 'president of the Guy Secretan fan club'. Two. A name tag is something you can _take off_. Three -"

"Well speaking of _taking things off_..."

"MY BREASTS ARE NOT REMOVABLE."

 

5\. Insists on being involved in the wedding plans.

"But... the _dagger_."

"What do you think you'll be doing with a dagger at our wedding?"

"It could be useful. I could cut the cake," he offers. "And spear anyone who tries to steal you from me."

"One speared rival is enough, thank you - you were just lucky Jake was so incredibly nice about it. You don't get to play with anything pointy from now on."

"That's okay, you'll be the one playing with it."

"And if you say anything like that at the reception I'm seeking an annulment."

 

6\. Gets her pregnant. (Using extremely underhanded means like taking her for a picnic at the park near the kiddies' playground and then pointing out the horrible ones and explaining exactly how much nicer their own would be.)

 

(7. And then turns out to be right.)


End file.
